Catholic Faith

" ... I was kneeling with my forehead on the wood in front of me, and was thinking of myself as praying, I was a little ashamed, and regretted that I was such a rotten Catholic, but realized there was nothing I could do about it, at least for a while, and maybe never, but that anyway it was a grand religion..." (pg. 103)

This excerpt interested me naturally because I am a part of the Catholic faith. I have had many times in my life when I have felt so far away from my faith and like Jake, I have been ashamed. Since I am part of the Catholic faith, I know that it is a very forgiving faith. The Sacrament of Reconciliation was created specifically for forgiving sins. This is why I am a little confused and troubled then it comes to this quotation by Jake. He says there is nothing he can do about being a rotten Catholic. Why? I don't understand this, because there is so much one can do to become stronger in their faith. I just want to know if I have missed something. Maybe something happened in his childhood. This is just one part of chapter ten I did not understand.

I know Hemingway wanted to emphasize this thought of Jake trying to pray because the paragraph where he is praying is almost all one sentence. I can't tell if he is trying to mock the Catholic faith or something, but I know something is up here.